serious minds – free write

2008
… just for a while until you say so … just for a while until he said no
until the sun comes up and until it goes down like tomorrow has no ending and today has a haze of tenderness like cotton balls on my uncles face trying to be santa claus tonight we play games that remain in my mind. memory will fade and until we go to sleep they are replaced by fantastical carpet rides through the dirty urban city and sleeping in rainforest trees where wild boars are your friends and not your dinner The water is warm so jump right in haha just kidding just wanted you to play with me and underneath I can have my 20/20 vision without the geeky goggles that will still make me look cute I’ll be a bug with those kind of eyes. Wait. Listen, listen, find, find…say good night and there will be tomorrow and Sunday, then Monday, then Tuesday but maybe not Wednesday because I’ll have to work so we can play at the museum and i’ll pretend that i’m a night watcher defacing all the walls, but not the big bones of trucker my dinosaur friend from way back when. Here i go on one of those rants so cruicial to my existence. mind clutter. This world means so much but yet so very little Made up names and super duper highways that remind me of the jetsons when leroy helps me to pick up the garbage of bad words that should never be said and the bullets that my hurt my friend ‘jen’ maybe it was not about the ins and outs but the resistance of my spirit, that final bow, the beat so strong and until Thursday with new art games to show you and the enjoyment of now watch the sun go down to the sun come up and the fog clears to reveal the new day walk with me to the park while I play the guitar and you draw with the colourful pens lets put the paper in the water and let it float to the pacific so a child can play with it like a boat where people can be free the bird at my window will tell me secrets i’ll keep them in my mailbox but in the back where i can keep my banana cake that mom likes to make. seven thirty three waiting, waiting, waiting my red coat hangs and a pile of my clothes on the printer that has no cyan ink…ideas for next projects… wait come back look out that window where birds fly, i’d like you to stay don’t bring worms to my window sill cause he cuts them and puts them in my hair or is that implanted memories because new ones replace old ones and imagination takes over making more new ones then the old ones fade its hard, difficult, strenuous, excruciating- maybe not that much in trying to remember that time of dark alleys, crazy clowns, clouds, bright colours and clenched fists nails in my palms and the relief of being inside during the storm and not in the eye of someone who doesn’t like me, i know you do… walk with me to the store so I can buy bubble gum and swallow two and chew one until it feels like plastic in my mouth i’ll spit it on the ground and shoes will become sticky anger will happen very quickly and it will be a girl with sitting shoes. hug, hug with strange looking guitars in mind and until tomorrow, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, but maybe not Wednesday and Thursday is too far…we’re back to now.